Shift Issue #07: Healing Ancient Wounds • May 2005

Can Love Make Progress?

Classics in Creativity

Thomas Jay Oord | Shift | Shift Issue #07: Healing Ancient Wounds |

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The idea that humans can make progress strikes some as naïve. With every war and its chaotic aftermath, looming ecological disasters, and the deviance reportedly inherent in human nature, it seems absurd that things can get better. In fact, say some, things seem to be getting worse.

Of course, even pessimists admit that improvement of a certain sort has been made. Humans have made progress, if we mean an increase in the quantity of commodities. Some speak of the inevitable progress of technology, and who can question that more people have access to more information than ever before? But, say pessimists, increases in commodities or access to information do not indicate genuine progress.

Either nothing can make the world a better place, or the world will necessarily become better. To say it another way, progress is either impossible or inevitable. Which do we choose? A third option exists. This option says that progress is possible, but not inevitable. In terms of moral progress, we might say that love can make progress. But we can also step backwards, fail to love, and witness evil's increase. In either possibility, there is no inevitability. Love may or may not make progress.

Most, if not all, of us actually want to witness love making progress. Progress in love, in other words, presupposes that we have at least a vague notion about which actions promote wellbeing and which do not. We entertain a vision for what a better tomorrow might be. Or as Henry David Thoreau put it, "Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality."

We want love in action, and we would love to be a part of that action. Permit me to suggest seven general arenas in which we might make progress in love:

We Can Make Progress In Love If We...

A few weeks after 9/11, the late Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood fame answered this question from a reporter: "What should parents tell their children now?" His words are worth taking to heart: "Tell them to keep their eyes on the helpers." In terms of love, we might say that progress can be made if we keep our eyes on the lovers.

Models, mentors, and exemplars of love put flesh on the abstract idea of loving one's family, neighbor, and enemy. We need not only to encourage those we know to become love exemplars, but we also need to promote such lovers in the public square.

For centuries, religious people have found help in following various practices that have enhanced the well-being of both those who practice them and those with whom these practitioners relate. Love can make progress when we follow religious practices that engender wholeness and genuine happiness.

Not all religious practices enhance well-being, of course. Just because an act is religious doesn't mean that the act is good. For love to make progress, therefore, we must make decisions about the helpfulness of various religious practices. This process is personally and politically charged. But perhaps love can become the measuring stick for believers as they ponder how they might best practice religion and make judgments about the fruitfulness of practices.

An increase in scientific knowledge, by itself, does not necessarily mean progress in love, but increases in scientific knowledge related to the giving and receiving of love can be helpful. In his American Psychological Association presidential address fifty years ago, Harry Harlow declared:

Because of its intimate and personal nature, [love] is regarded by some as an improper topic for experimental research. But, whatever our personal feelings may be, our assigned mission as psychologists is to analyze all facets of human and animal behavior into their component variables. So far as love or affection is concerned, psychologists have failed in this mission. The little we know about love does not transcend simple observation, and the little we write about it has been written better by poets and novelists.

There is much to be done--by psychologists, biologists, neurologists, sociologists, cosmologists, anthropologists, and scientists of other stripes--that could increase our scientific knowledge of love.

Learning how to use our reasoning powers can be a powerful aide in the progress of love. This does not mean that the most brilliant are also the most loving. But being as clear as we can about what love means allows us to bypass the errors of rampant ambiguity. And using our reasoning abilities can help us to think creatively about how both to love and to overcome love's obstacles.

It has sometimes been said that a reciprocal relationship exists between wisdom and love. The most profound expressions of love are often accompanied by a series of wise decisions. Progress requires us to act both for the love of wisdom and for the wisdom of love.

We are beginning to see that Western culture has generally overemphasized individualism to the neglect of community. Alasdair Maclntyre preaches the importance of community in his highly influential book, After Virtue. He writes, "What matters [now] is the construction of local forms of community within which civility and the intellectual and moral life can be sustained." Maclntyre's emphasis upon community is vital to understanding and practicing love.

If love is relational, community is essential to the progress of love. And not just any community will do. After all, communities can be hotbeds for hatred as well as workshops of love. One way that love can make progress is by participation in and the advocacy of communities that promote love.

Progress in love requires proactive behavior to support activities and structures that promote well-being. But progress also comes through reactive behavior that opposes activities and structures that generate ill-being. Becoming a voice for the oppressed against the oppressors-- in their many guises--is an act of love that increases the common good.

Although opinions vary about the specifics, the majority of social scientists point to aspects of culture that thwart the establishment of well-being. Progress in love requires lovers to be social activists and cultural critics. Maximal progress in love cannot be made by individual or community activity alone. The broad structures of culture must be evaluated by the prophets of love.

Some religious traditions better support the idea that progress in love is possible. Those traditions that consider creatures to be free to some degree, that acknowledge standards of good and evil and also encourage their adherents to seek something better, are likely the most powerful religious forces in the progress of love.

Theistic traditions may be more convincing and appealing if they understood God to be both the source of our love and the one who loves steadfastly. This step seems to be an important one toward resolving the age-old problem of evil that challenges the faith of both theists and atheists alike. If we all want to attune our lives to the ways of the Ultimate Being, and if we believe that the Ultimate Being loves us all steadfastly, we have grounds to trust that we make progress in love when we attune our lives to the Ultimate Lover.

Can things get better? Yes! Can love make progress? Yes! It is not inevitable, but progress in love is possible.

THOMAS JAY OORD is a professor of theology and philosophy at Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, Idaho. He also works with the Institute for Unlimited Love, and serves as academic correspondent and contributing editor for Science and Theology News. This article was adapted from the book Science Of Love.