HEALTHY, LASTING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH TANTRA
In the book TANTRA, The Way of Acceptance, Osho informs us:
“This is the Tantra message: don’t live a repressed life, otherwise you live not at all. Live a life of expression, creativity, joy. Live the way existence wanted you to live; live the natural way.”
The Tantric message implicit here is especially applicable, I feel, when applied to the preservation and holistic completeness found in a divinely centered life that always includes spirituality as part of our divine union. It is the “divinity” part of the relationship equation that seems to be left out of current versions. This would never occur if we first started a relationship based on holistic concepts. For instance, in the practice of Tantric sexuality couples are encouraged to cultivate self-awareness first to promote the most enduring ecstasy that follows. Tantra teaches that our relationships will really come alive only when we find a spiritually fulfilling partner with whom we can share the erotic joy that is a natural spin off of centered awareness.
Increased erotic joy is possible because a higher level of consciousness increases energy, creativity and self-expression. You could say it takes you to a higher frequency of self-expression. As one learns to express this divinity with their chosen sexual partner through Tantric exercise and awareness, they find new dimensions of fulfillment that can be enjoyed whether they choose to express it solo or with their partner. The specific details of these methods, though long held secret and passed on only through oral tradition, are socially available in many forms today and practiced in mental, spiritual and physical meditative rituals.
What can be expected by these meditative disciplines? Ultimately, through patient practice, couples can expect to be rewarded with fuller and more satisfying sexual unions than ever thought possible, specifically because Tantra also encourages enjoyment, eroticism and creative experimentation. Divisionary religious beliefs such as those that envision a constant tension between God and the devil foster guilt about sexual gratification-- but in Tantra this is not the case. Instead of fear, anxiety or the accompanying insecurity and doubt engendered by guilt, we find the enjoyment of feeling free to creatively express our pleasure through each other and thus reap the benefits that come from a creative and responsive sexual life.
This inclusion of an integrated spiritual dimension into sexuality takes participants out of the divisionary gutters of self-expression sullied by misguided perversions sold to the unwary experimenter of sexuality, like drugs for recreational amusement. Instead of an unhealthy spiritually deviated eroticism glutted on “fast food” pornography found in the mental diversions available to those bound by hectic schedules, sex becomes allied with other forms of escapism such as drugs/alcohol and the internet. In this kind of immediate gratification environment, the mind reaches aimlessly toward the next erotic or sensate escape. People caught up in this reality become consumers of the quick fix.
Clearly, this is one element that leads to unhealthy sexuality and consequently unhappy marital relationships. In fact, sexual surveys taken in 2006 indicate that as much as 52 percent of people living in unhappy sexual relationships endure a marriage without an expressive and creative sex life—and I suspect that lack of quality time might be the reason.
So quality time and patience are key factors necessary for insuring fulfilling relationship and for practicing interesting positions and exciting techniques found in the Karma Sutra methods practiced in liberated Hindu cultures. Some of these include erotic massage and heightened sensitivity through controlled ejaculation, recirculation and Jing maintenance.
Tantra follows simple but basic truths, radical or revolutionary though they might appear to those with boring, repressive sexual lives. Tantric practices can lead couples to a sense of wholeness bordering on the divine, as it weaves dualities into a Tao of erotic fulfillment. Osho’s description of this sacred union portrays spirituality and sexuality embraced as ONE. In this kind of “holistic sexuality,” one is freed from the mental divisions created by dualistic thinking, where the concept of the Whole or visionary circle is left out of the union. The sense of separation in our contemporary culture becomes obvious when contrasted to the Tantric view. In the Western mind, dualistic visual themes tend to analytically isolate and therefore alienate bodily functions by creating arbitrary notions of division between what is considered “higher” and “lower” behavior. In these kinds of scenarios sex is relegated to alienated consumer satiation. Scientific research backs this viewpoint by stating that unhealthy attitudes about sex actually promote thought patterns and, hence, behavior that creates sexually related illnesses, whereas healthy attitudes lead to longevity.
For example, sexual research in a study of 2400 men in Wales, over a ten year period, found that those people with the greatest amount of orgasms were 50 percent less likely to die. Now don’t get the idea wrong, this doesn’t apply to just any kind of sexual release because in that same test, it was also discovered that healthy sexuality also markedly decreased the possibility of heart attacks. It was also discovered that frequent ejaculations also reduce certain types of cancers.
The gist of these reports hints that regular sexual enjoyment of a higher level has been also linked to a stronger immune system because it naturally reduces stress levels in the body. Another correlative fact indicated by a Japanese study showed that sex outside the relationship, which, by the way, has become quite popular in trios and bisexuality portrayed in many so-called “reality” television shows, might actually lead to unhealthy results. This report indicated that 19 out of 42 people who suffered strokes during sex were actually being unfaithful at the time.
Taken altogether, this data suggests when sexual behavior is carried out in a healthy, balanced manner it could prove to be the perfect therapy. So we get some idea from these statistics that a spiritually sound love life, sexuality and erotic coupling could be the prescription for resolving relationship problems, improving health and insuring longevity. That is why a new vision of holistic sexuality is needed to insure positive relationships and increase erotic and sexual enjoyment by promoting spiritually centered attitudes. Osho’s solution to this integral element is clear by his following suggestions:
"The Tantra vision is of tremendous import, particularly for the present moment in human history, because a new type of human being is striving to be born; a new consciousness is knocking on the door. The future is going to be that of Tantra because dualistic attitudes will no longer hold power over the human mind."
Think in terms of ONENESS or the divine union of male and female energies during Tantric copulation and release. In the end result, the couple that practices Tantric sexuality may prove to be the healthiest relationship physically, mentally and sexually.
Namaste' Nahu
